Pardon Countdown 2008

Monday, March 27, 2006

More upsets than March Madness

1. TIE!! George W. Bush / Tony Blair
3. Jack Abramoff
4. Scooter Libby - it's bad when even Karl Rove is talking to the prosecutor
5. Ralph Reed - nope! Damn he weaseled out, stupid statute of limitaions...
6. Tom DeLay
7. everybody at ABC in charge of sitcoms; man! they suck.
8. Antoninonia Scalia - flipping the bird in church as got to be a mortal sin. Where's the nuns when you need them?
9. Ben Domenech - unfortunately Bush just plagiarized his dad's old pardons so Weinberger's rehabilitated again.
10. Grover Norquist - the Affaire d'Abramoff spreads...

Wow after yet another set of British memos come out showing that it was "War On" at the White House since Sept. 12th, finally the U.S Media rubs the sleep from their eyes and goes "Oh I suppose we should report, that is kinda our job description." The sad thing is I'm too lazy to look up the links but basically Knight-Ridders' Washington DC reporters were calling this crap when it was still warm in 2002. Four years and thousands of lives later the New York Times notices the stink. I gotta look up to see if the Constitution allows a President to pardon himself... OH! I made a funny! Like Bush cares what the Constitution says.
The former millionaire known as Katherine Harris almost made the cut but there's really no chance that she'll get a pardon; she's just not that loyal of a minion.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Reservation list at the Grey Bar Hotel

1. Scooter Libby
2. Jack Abramoff
3. Tom Delay
4. Richard Perle
5. Paul Bremer
6. Liza Gibbons...sorry...'Leezza Rice
7. Tom Wopat
8. Colin Powell
9. Gen. Franks
10. Paul Wolfowitz

The recap: no change in the top 3, the Dukestir is just too January so he's out this week. Thanks to the 3rd anniversary the "architects" of Iraqi Victory tour 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006 get to move up to the big leagues. While they are not currently under investigation that doesn't rule out a nice preemptive pardoning from happening.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Current projected winners

In order of desperation:

1. Scooter Libby
2. Jack Abramoff
3. Tom Delay
4. Duke Cunningham
5. Gale Norton
6. Ken Lay
7. Lil Kim
8. Claude Allen
9. anyone with the surname "Bush"
10. anyone who ever had a position in this administration.

Should be on the list but the odds of them ever being held accountable is nil.

1. Karl Rove
2. Vice-Prez Dick Cheney
3. Sec. of Defense Rumsfeld

Please be sure to add your favorites...